Do Friends Change after Wedding?

Read Friendships After Marriage before you actually read this

Do Friendships change after Wedding? (taking a leaf out of your book...I will call it a wedding and not Marriage:-) Friendship is a state that can never change. I would say the best topic is “Do Friends change after Wedding”.... Reason I say this is because, Friends can shy away but their friendship and its memories would not.. Okay enough of scene and senti that I have put over there… I am not going take any ‘people’ as examples but only me to write what I feel about this topic…

I am a guy who pays Rs.1600 monthly on my cell-phone bills even on days when I was not committed..Everyday, 10:00 p.m to 11:00 p.m is the time for me to talk with my friends… So I believe I have sent enough indications to say I have a whole bunch of friends that I have got with me..
I got Married on 8th February 2009… Remember some of my friends have already got married by then and I (as a single then) did not have any complaints. So did I have any issues with my friends bcoz I am married? I am not good in giving fancy names as John Doe or Johnny Depp… Let me just say that life with friends after marriage is definitely not the same as before…Wait wait..Before you come to any negative conclusions, life has only become better.. Has my friendship grown stronger? Definitely yes.. What needs to be done?

Rule 1: Don’t do anything specific to try and make your wife become friendly with your friends… Ensure that you introduce your best friends (guy/girl) to your wife before your marriage and leave it that way…Remember you did not get friends by force, so don’t expect your wife to treat your best friends as hers… Now what about how my friends would feel about me after my marriage? I am not talking over the phone for hours together in the night these days. I was not talking for hours together earlier to make sure they stay as my friends so even though I don’t call them as often I would have done earlier they are Ok with it because, I ensure that I keep in touch as frequently as I can and letting them know how busy a married man life is J

Rule 2: Maintaining a balance between friends and family will be a very tricky thing but you have one solution à Love your wife in a way that you have never liked anyone else other than your mom and anything else in this world. Once your wife is absolutely comfortable with you, knows who you are and what your likes are, then I will tell you even if you go to CMBT to drop your friend (a girl) at 10:00 in the night, your wife would not complain..This I tell out of my experience….

Now why did I say the topic should have been “Do Friends change after wedding?”…This is because, once a guy is married his friends (who might be single or even a married one) starts seeing him differently. And, this is where problem would start…The only change should be don’t call him in the midnight just because you don’t get sleep and more importantly, if he/ she doesn’t come with you for a movie or for a tea its because he is married now…When the friend thinks that way, remember there have been times when your friend (I mean the newly married guy) has turned you down or snubbed you when you had called him for a movie during the days when he was single…Somehow this is not the line of thought with some of them…

There is one more thought which I may not be able to tell elaborately but I find it interesting that people do not see…If your best friend gets married, what would you have to do? Nothing..Be as you were before and remember that you became close to your friend over a period of atleast a year…If it took you one year to get a close friend and that too by trying to spend as much time possible with him/her, the same friend is now trying to lead a life with a new partner and he needs as much time as possible with his spouse to ensure his life is a success…So give them the time that they need. If you are a close friend, you would not lose him by simply not spending time with him everyday…Friendship is Immortal…As some unknown 2 liner goes…”Its not the number of times you met a friend that counts…It’s the number of times your friend was there when you thought you needed him that counts…”

Raja G

The views expressed by the guest author are purely personal. The blog does not necessarily subscribe to his views.